I miss you..

Dear Cody,

I miss you, I miss your smile.. and I still shed a tear every once in a while.... and my heart won't let you go..

Oh Cody.. How I miss you so much.. I know i say that a lot.. But its true. I miss you more than words can ever say..
And I just wish that I coulda been there for you more often.
Honestly so many things remind me of you.. And I just wish you were here in my arms.. =/.. and I wish I coulda told you that I love you. Because I realyl do. And I apologize for never actually saying it to you. So I love you Cody J Barker.. Forever and always.. Just wish I coulda told it to you..

Love always,
Kody.

=/.

Dear Cody,
I don't know where to start..
I miss you..So much.. And I just wish that you could be here.
Because you being gone, just plain fucking sucks..
I don't even know where to start with all this.. i Just.. *sigh*

Theres only so much I can say.. And I just don't know what to say besides I miss you more than EVER.. =/.. And that I love you, and always will. <3

I just wish you could be here with me.. In my arms, and everything will be all ohk..

Love ALWAYS..
Kody <3

Sigh..

I don't even know where to start...

All I've been thinking about lately.. Is Cody.. =/.. I miss him more than words can even describe.
He was the best thing that I EVER had..And the best thing I ever will have had..
And ugh..That stupid ass.. I just..I don't even knoww.. I'd give anything to have him back here in my arms..
I still don't believe he's gone.. I'm waiting for his text to tell me to get my ass over there, so we can do something.. =/. I just..
I can't do this..

I Miss You..

Dear Cody,
Oh how it has been just over a month
And how I can't deal with you being gone..
I'm just waiting to wake up from this horrible horrible dream,
And look at my phone and have a text from you telling me to "get my ass over there"
But that isn't gonna happen.. =/.

Oh Cody.. I just wish you would have said something.. We all woulda been there for you, me included..
I know I wasn't the best at that with my parents.. But I woulda been there for you in a heartbeat..
*Sigh* I know i can't do anything anymore, whats done is done.. But oh how I just wish that things were different..
I miss you BEYOND what words can even begin to describe..

I love you, and i miss you..
-Kody

:(

So this summer was like pretty amazzzing! Better than i thought it would be..
I had some good times with my besties! :)!
I got to goto camp as a counselor,
I got two jobs! :D! (Which I didn't think would happen.)
..I also got me a boyfriend :) which I'm super super happy about! :)!
Ironic thing.. His name is also Cody! :)! Which I think is super cool! ha!


So tonight I decided to ask my mom if i was allowed to date..
Ah yeah, that didn't go as well as planned.. She basically told me I wasn't allowed to.. And then proceeded to tell me that if I lived my life the way that I wanted to, bad things would happen to me, and I wouldn't be happy the way that it was going from there.. =/.. which I totally get.. But you think a mother would be happy for you.. and not try to put you down like that....? That's how I look at it anywaysssss.. =/.
I just want one of those relationships where I can tell my parents whats actually happening in my life, rather than lie like I have been practically all summer.. =/.

Summer '010 :)

Ahh,
So it has almost been an ENTIRE month of summer vacation! And so far..It still is boring as hell!

Even though my parents barely ever let me out.. I've actually been hanging out with people quite a bit..More than I thought.. But its all during the day.. Not much at night, which is when i get most bored..

BUTTTT... I'm hoping that, that all changes very sooon! Tomorrow morning i have a job interview at Scheels :) Which im SUPPPPPERRRRRR excited about! At first I didn't wanna work there.. But now thinking about it.. I really wouldn't mind working there! So I'm really hoping that i get the job :)

Ahh..So.. Summer '010 started Tuesday
And at first I was like ahh.shit..this is gonna be the most boring-est summer
Cause one..I can't afford to go anywhere..So basically i juss sit at home..
Two.. Cause My moms ALWAYS Home in the day :(, And that basically just sucks
Threee.. Is i've basically sat around so far

BUTTTTTTT...That all changed like.. Yesterday
Me and sara started to hang out more.. Bike rides around town, and shit like that. And I don't know. It made me happy cause, basically thats all i've done And then last night.. Kayce Sara, and Me... went to the theaters to see DATE NIGH! :)! It was SO GREAT I love hanging out with them :)
And then tonight.. I'm waiting on Kaitlyn to get done babysitting.. and then I'm gonna drive over to her house.. And she's gonna drive to T-BELL :) Which im super excited about :)

Ahh.. thats enough for now :P